What Are the Signs of a Cheating Partner?

Discovering that your partner is cheating can be devastating. Unfortunately, infidelity is quite common. Studies estimate that roughly 20-25% of married men and 15-20% of married women admit to having an extramarital affair at some point.

However, spotting the signs of a cheating spouse or partner early on can help you confront the issue before it escalates. This guide covers the most telling signs that indicate your partner may be cheating, so you are aware of what to look out for.

Top Signs Your Partner is Cheating

Here are some of the most common indicators that your spouse or partner may be involved in an affair or unfaithful in the relationship:

1. Changes in Communication Patterns

One of the first signs of infidelity is a shift in communication patterns between you and your partner. For instance, your once open and engaging partner may suddenly become closed off, silent, and distant. Or they may now pick fights and arguments with you over petty issues.

Your partner may also seem distracted during conversations, constantly checking their phone or device. A cheating spouse may screen their calls and messages around you to hide their communication with the other person.

They may take calls in the other room or become jumpy when a message appears on their phone in your presence.

2. Increased Secrecy and Evasiveness

Along with changes in communication habits, increased secrecy about their activities, schedule, phone activity or computer use is a huge red flag.

Your partner may suddenly become very private about their phone and computer use. They may set passwords you don’t know or change their existing ones.

A cheating partner may also delete browsing history, messages, call logs, and social media messages between them and the other party.

When you ask what they are up to or about their schedule, your partner may get evasive and make excuses or lie about their plans and activities. Unexplained absences during odd hours can also indicate infidelity.

3. Shift in Attitude Toward You

Your partner’s attitude and behaviour toward you may start to change when they are cheating. For example, a cheating husband may begin making critical comments about your appearance, interests, values, and other aspects that never bothered them before.

A cheating wife may stop acknowledging you altogether and not show any interest in engaging with you or doing things as a couple.

They may pick unnecessary fights and make you feel like you are always doing something wrong. This emotional shift is a tactic to justify their cheating behaviour.

4. Lack of Interest in Intimacy

An abrupt lack of interest or responsiveness to engaging in physical and emotional intimacy can signal infidelity. Your once affectionate partner may now go out of their way to avoid romantic dinners, kisses, sex, and other intimate moments for no apparent reason.

Cheating spouses or partners may express that they no longer enjoy the same activities with you that they used to.

They may say they do not feel satisfied by your sex life anymore but are vague about why. This lack of interest or sexual chemistry usually means they are getting their needs met by someone else.

5. Unexplained Expenses and Financial Secrecy

Suspicious financial activity may reveal a cheating partner. Unexplained expenses, cash withdrawals, credit card bills, and money transfers can indicate funds being spent on the other person.

Your spouse may suddenly be adamant about having separate bank accounts, finances, and investments, so tracking their spending is harder. Lavish gifts given to them that are said to be from a friend or colleague may actually be from their affair partner.

6. Sudden Attention to Appearance

Major unexpected changes to physical appearance, like weight loss, new clothing or jewelry, and increased attention to hairstyles, makeup, cologne, and manscaping, can signify an affair.

Your partner may say they want a “new look,” but the reality is, they are dressing to impress someone else. Married men and women looking to attract extramarital partners typically overhaul their image and style.

7. Guarding Their Phone

One of the biggest giveaways of a cheating partner is their attachment to their phone and protectiveness over it. They may take their phone everywhere, even to the bathroom or on short trips.

A cheating husband or wife will position their phone face down when not in use and get defensive when asked who they are talking to.

Your spouse may also delete messages and call history immediately. They may have a password on their phone that they don’t share with you.

Unexplained blinking lights or buzzing from their phone left unattended can mean they receive notifications from dating apps or messages they don’t want you to see.

8. Working Late More Often

Infidelity sometimes happens between colleagues. Cheating spouses may stay late at the office more frequently for no clear reason. They may say it’s because their workload has increased. Or make other vague excuses for extended hours spent away from home.

This may be a cover for them spending time alone with their affair partner. If their job or career has not changed substantially, be suspicious of constant unexplained overtime and weekends at the office.

9. More Girls/Guys Nights Out

An increase in social outings with friends of the gender they are attracted to can raise relationship red flags. A married man or woman engaging in an affair may use boys’ nights out or girls’ nights out as a cover to spend time with their extramarital partner.

They may stop inviting you out to these group outings altogether. Or frequently extend the expected return time late into the night or early morning with dubious explanations, if they come home at all.

10. Business Trips and Vacations Alone

Professional trips and vacations taken alone or without you may involve clandestine plans to meet up with their affair partner. Cheating husbands and wives may fabricate conferences, client meetings, and work retreats they have to attend, which are really an excuse for travel to be with their lover.

If their job does not usually require so much travel, be suspicious of any new claims of impromptu business trips, especially ones scheduled at short notice or during odd times.

11. Emotional Distance

Cheating partners often check out of the relationship emotionally long before their affair starts. Emotional distance, lack of engagement in the relationship, and loss of empathy for you as a partner are common signs of cheating and deterioration of the relationship.

You may notice your partner no longer shares anything meaningful or joins conversations. A cheating husband or wife may stop caring about your career, family issues, friendships, and other aspects of your world or showing any interest. Their mind and emotions are with the other man or woman.

12. Projecting Blame on You

Partners who cheat often redirect accusations at the other partner to alleviate their own guilt. A cheating spouse may blame you for being suspicious or make you feel like you are going crazy rather than admit they are up to no good.

Your partner may accuse you of cheating or claim you have changed, no longer satisfy them, or have unattractive qualities as a way to justify their own infidelity. It is a manipulation tactic cheaters use to make you feel inadequate and avoid revealing the truth.

13. Less Interest in Family

Marital affairs often start as emotional connections that then become physical. Your spouse may have found another person who they believe better connects with and understands them.

Consequently, they begin to disconnect from you and your children or family. A cheating husband or wife may show less interest in family activities, outings, and holidays.

They may avoid interactions with your extended family and find reasons not to attend family functions. Their mind is focused on their affair partner, not their family.

14. Defensiveness About Their Schedule

You ask your spouse basic questions about when they will be home or their plans, and they act overly defensive. A cheating partner may insist that they informed you of their plans when you likely would have remembered such a conversation.

They may get overly angry about “checking in ” or justifying their activities. Your simple questions are perceived as accusations and spark an abnormal level of defensiveness.

15. Friends Know Before You Do

In some cases, mutual friends may be aware of your partner’s affair or suspicious of their behaviour in recent months. They may hint to you that your partner seems to have many new friends, a busy schedule, or an interest in going out without you.

Your cheating partner may have confided in those they know will not judge them or let it slip. Friends’ awkwardness toward you or pitying looks may subtly be their way of letting you know your partner’s loyalty lies elsewhere.

What to Do If You Suspect Infidelity

Discovering that your partner is cheating can leave you feeling betrayed and confused. Here are some tips on constructive steps to take if you suspect your husband or wife is having an affair:

• Keep a journal documenting your partner’s suspicious behaviours, conversations, activities, and your feelings. This written record will help you validate your concerns.
• Have an open and honest conversation with your partner to express your observations and concerns. Allow them to explain themselves or come clean.
• Set firm boundaries and expectations for rebuilding trust, regaining intimacy, and transparent communication. Infidelity recovery counselling can assist with this.
• Consult with a professional private investigator if strong evidence confirms your partner’s cheating. They can provide photographic, digital, and physical proof if an affair exists.
• Speak to a therapist who specializes in infidelity to help process emotions, assess whether the relationship is salvageable, and begin healing.
• If you are considering separation or divorce, talk to a lawyer to understand your legal rights and options.
• As you discern the next steps, lean on trusted family and friends for emotional support.
• Take care of your physical and mental well-being with self-care, healthy coping strategies, and time focused on your personal growth.

The discovery of infidelity can be a challenging terrain to navigate. However, knowing potential red flags can help you detect problems early and confront any cheating suspicions before patterns become entrenched.

Addressing issues directly yet calmly is key to paving a path forward, whether towards reconciliation or parting ways. With adequate self-care and support, you can move past this challenging chapter in a healthier state. Learn here more about cheating spouses, handling tips and guides.