Bible Verses for Couples Fighting

Fighting and conflict are inevitable in any relationship. Even the healthiest couples face disagreements and arguments from time to time. While no one enjoys fighting with their spouse, knowing how to handle conflict biblically is key to having a strong Christian marriage.

When tensions rise, turning to the Word of God can help couples reconcile differences, treat each other with compassion, and resolve issues in a constructive manner.

The Bible offers much wisdom and guidance for dealing with marital disputes in a way that honors God and strengthens the relationship.

In this blog article, we will explore 15 Bible verses for couples fighting to promote forgiveness, patience, unity, and restoration in their marriage. Whether you need encouragement to communicate lovingly during conflict or find peace after heated arguments, God’s Word provides comfort and direction.

Why Do Couples Fight? Common Causes of Marital Conflict

Before diving into Scripture, it’s helpful to understand what typically causes fighting between spouses. Some common triggers include:

• Money problems: Finances are one of the leading causes of arguments between married couples. Disagreements over budgeting, spending, debt, and financial priorities often create tension.
• Communication issues: Lack of healthy communication leads to a build-up of resentment and misunderstandings. Couples may fight due to poor listening skills, talking over each other, and failure to validate each other’s feelings.
• Intimacy struggles: Marriage problems can arise when couples don’t make emotional and physical intimacy a priority. Without this connection, relationships become vulnerable.
• Unresolved anger: Allowing anger and irritation to bottle up inside instead of dealing with it constructively leads to unnecessary arguments down the road.
• Differences in values: Couples who have conflicting personalities, beliefs, interests and goals are prone to more disagreements.
• Stress and fatigue: External stress from work, family demands, or managing a household can spill over into the marital relationship in unhealthy ways.

What Does the Bible Say About Fighting in Marriage?

The Bible teaches that conflict within marriage is inevitable. In Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus himself gives instructions on how to handle grievances among believers, emphasizing gentle confrontation and forgiveness.

Furthermore, Scripture is clear that couples should make every effort to live in peace and unity to the best of their ability. Romans 12:18 reminds us to “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

However, God knows we are imperfect people who will struggle with arguments and strife in marriage at times. This is why the Bible offers much guidance for couples fighting and outlines principles for resolving conflict in a constructive, God-honoring way.

When searching for Bible verses about marriage conflict, there are several key themes that emerge:

Seek Peace, Reconciliation, and Mutual Understanding

The Bible encourages spouses to actively pursue peace when tensions arise. Couples should take time to understand each other’s perspectives and look for solutions that satisfy both partners.

Be Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak, and Slow to Anger

Listening attentively and responding thoughtfully is better than reacting hastily in anger. Couples should control their tempers and not let anger push them into sin.

Season Words with Grace and Edification

Speak gently and avoid hurtful words. Building each other up is better than tearing each other down.

Forgive Freely and Refuse to Hold Grudges

It pleases God when couples forgive each other quickly. Lingering resentment over past wrongs breeds strife.

Model Humility and Put Your Spouse First

The Bible calls Christians to serve and honor one another above themselves, just as Christ did for us.

When couples apply these biblical principles during times of conflict, they invite God’s presence into their marriage and open doors for reconciliation.

Next, let’s explore some of the most helpful Bible verses for couples fighting to find encouragement, wisdom, and guidance as they navigate disagreements.

15 Encouraging Bible Verses for Couples Fighting

1. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 – God Designed Marriage for Companionship

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

This passage emphasizes the strength that comes from unity and reminds couples they are stronger together than apart. Your spouse is your companion, not your enemy. Fighting isolates you from each other, but peace draws you close again.

2. Proverbs 15:1 – Gentle Words Promote Peace

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

When tensions are high, how you talk to your spouse influences whether the fight escalates or defuses. A gentle, thoughtful reply is more likely to resolve conflict than angry shouting.

3. Ephesians 4:26-27 – Don’t Let Anger Push You Into Sin

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

Anger is a normal human emotion, but unchecked anger is spiritually dangerous. Deal with issues promptly and don’t brood over offenses, allowing time for tempers to cool.

4. Colossians 3:12-14 – Clothe Yourself in Virtues of Compassion

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Make the conscious choice to treat your spouse with godly virtues, even when you feel like being unkind. This fosters an environment for forgiveness and reconciliation.

5. Proverbs 17:14 – Don’t Exacerbate Strife

Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.

Once an argument starts, it’s easy for matters to escalate out of control. If tempers are flaring, it’s better to pause the disagreement and revisit the issue later when emotions have settled.

6. Ephesians 4:29 – Season Your Speech with Grace

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Avoid saying hurtful things you’ll later regret in the heat of conflict. Make the effort to speak in an edifying way.

7. Romans 12:10 – Honor Your Spouse Above Yourself

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

During fights, it’s easy to focus only on your own feelings and defending yourself. But the Bible calls us to look out for the other person’s interests too.

8. Matthew 7:3-5 – Examine Your Contribution to the Problem

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

It’s natural to find fault in your spouse during disagreements. But take time to reflect on your own shortcomings and how you may be contributing to the problem too.

9. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 – Love is Patient and Kind

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

When conflict tempts you to be unloving, remember how Jesus perfectly demonstrated true love. Follow His example.

10. Philippians 2:1-4 – Value Others Above Yourself

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Being united in spirit means being willing to compromise instead of insisting on getting your own way.

11. James 1:19-20 – Be Quick to Listen

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Rather than formulating arguments in your head while your spouse is talking, make an effort to truly listen and understand their perspective.

12. Colossians 3:13 – Forgive One Another

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Forgiveness liberates couples from pent up resentment that would otherwise hinder intimacy and breed more conflict. Let go of grudges.

13. Proverbs 10:12 – Love Covers Over Offenses

Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.

When you love someone, you are quick to excuse their faults and flaws. Choose to cover your spouse’s offenses with unconditional love.

14. Ephesians 4:2 – Model Humility and Gentleness

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Adopting humility instead of insisting you’re right neutralizes arguments. Gentleness and patience foster understanding.

15. Romans 14:19 – Pursue Peace at All Times

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.

Make peace and reconciliation the ultimate goal when resolving conflict rather than winning the argument or proving your point.

How Should Couples Handle Conflict Biblically?

When applying these verses to your marriage, here are some practical tips for managing disagreements in a constructive, biblical way:

• Pray together to invite God into the situation before discussing the conflict. This helps calm emotions and provides a spiritual perspective.
• Listen attentively to understand your spouse’s viewpoint, even if you disagree. Repeat back what you heard to ensure accuracy.
• Express issues gently without blaming or exaggerating. Use “I feel…” statements to share your perspective humbly.
• Find compromises that satisfy both spouses. Meet in the middle instead of insisting on having things your way.
• Speak words that build up your marriage, even during disagreements. No name calling or dredging up past grievances.
• Resolve issues completely instead of burying problems. Don’t let anger simmer beneath the surface unaddressed.
• Offer and accept forgiveness to heal rifts. Don’t hold grudges over inevitable offenses.
• Focus on reconciliation, not winning arguments. Preserving intimacy and trust is more important than proving yourself right.

Bible Verses for Peace After a Fight

Inevitably, every couple will face some arguments that end with hurt feelings and lingering resentment instead of resolution. At these times, you may need to give each other some space temporarily.

However, it’s important not to withdraw from each other completely or go to bed angry after blow up fights, based on principles in verses like Ephesians 4:26. Here are some additional Scriptures to meditate on to help reestablish peace after heated conflicts.

Psalm 34:14 – Seek Peace and Pursue It

Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.

Don’t wait for your spouse to make the first move after a bad argument. Take the initiative to restore harmony.

Hebrews 12:14 – Strive for Holiness and Peace

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy.

Advancing holiness in your marriage means proactively restoring peace after conflicts, even when it’s difficult.

Psalm 37:8 – Refrain from Anger and Let Go of Wrath

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.

Intentionally calm yourself and release anger to the Lord. This allows you to approach disputes rationally.

Proverbs 14:29 – Be Slow to Become Angry

Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.

Wait until your anger completely subsides before trying to resolve issues. Cooler heads prevail.

James 3:18 – Pursue Righteousness and Peace Together

Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.

Take mutual responsibility for restoring your relationship after conflicts instead of assigning blame.

How to Reconcile After a Fight as a Couple

The Bible offers this roadmap for finding reconciliation after marital conflicts:

• Confess your own contributions – Take responsibility for how you may have provoked the conflict and humbly ask forgiveness for your wrongdoing.
• Forgive unconditionally – Let go of bitterness and offense for the sake of unity. Forgive as Christ forgave you.
• Allow time to heal – Don’t force deep conversations before emotions have settled. Give your spouse space if needed.
• Reaffirm your love – Small acts of service and words of affirmation help rekindle affection after arguments.
• Discuss how to avoid future conflicts – Identify triggers that lead to fights and collaborate on solutions. Get counseling if needed.
• Pray together – Joining together in prayer reunites you spiritually. Thank God for His restoration.

With Jesus as the foundation, Christian couples have hope for overcoming conflict and finding reconciliation through the wisdom of God’s Word.

Finding Peace in God’s Presence and Promises

Navigating disagreements within marriage is challenging. However, with prayer, humility, and obedience to biblical principles, Christian couples can resolve conflicts in healthy ways that foster understanding and intimacy.

In those moments when you are hurting and tempted to exchange harsh words with your spouse, lean into the Lord’s presence. Allow His perfect peace to calm angry hearts and guide you into righteous responses. God can use your trials to purify your marriage as your purpose to glorify Him, even through conflict.

Cling to promises like Psalm 34:18: “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Be encouraged that your disagreements have a purpose – God desires to use them to refine your relationship and draw you closer together and closer to Him.

Human counsel falls short during times of marital strife, but God’s wisdom is perfect. Seek the Bible for guidance, pray for the Holy Spirit’s help, and trust the Lord to sustain you through seasons of conflict. With Christ at the center, your marriage will emerge stronger. Learn here more about the marriage conflict resolution guide and tips.