Signs your spouse is cheating

Infidelity in a marriage can be devastating. If you suspect your spouse may be cheating, there are some common signs to look out for.

In this blog post, we will shar elist of 21 Signs your spouse is cheating. While none of these signs guarantee infidelity, they can help you determine if you need to have an open and honest conversation with your spouse.

21 Common Signs of Infidelity in a Relationship

1. Sudden changes in routine – If your spouse starts coming home later from work, going out more with friends, or changing up their normal routine, it could be a red flag. Cheaters often change routines to have more opportunities to meet up with the other person.

2. Guarding their phone – Does your spouse suddenly start keeping their phone very close, taking it everywhere even the bathroom, and getting anxious when it’s not in sight? This secretive behavior is common when someone is hiding communications with another person.

3. Less affection – Your spouse may pull back on affection if they are getting their intimacy needs met somewhere else. Less sex, kissing, hand-holding, and saying “I love you” can be signs they have pulled back emotionally.

4. New interests – A cheating spouse may suddenly mention new hobbies, interests, music or clothing tastes that don’t seem like their typical personality. These could be influenced by the other person.

5. Hooking up after a fight – After an argument, does your spouse immediately want to hook up? Some cheaters assuage their guilt with intimacy after fights, to keep you trusting them.

6. Accusing you of cheating – Often cheaters project their guilt onto their spouse by suddenly acting jealous and accusatory. Their own cheating makes them paranoid you are too.

7. Reading relationship books – Guilty cheaters often read books and articles to justify their behavior. Any new discussion of open relationships, polyamory or wanting “more space” could come from their own infidelity.

8. Secretive online activity – Creating secret email or social media accounts, closing laptops when you walk in, and clearing browser history can all point towards hiding online communications with someone else.

9. Having new sexual moves – Sometimes cheaters will learn new sexual techniques or moves from their affair partners. If your love life changes dramatically, it could be because they are practicing with someone else.

10. Split finances – Cheaters often start moving assets or money around to fund gifts, trips or accommodations for the other person without you finding out. Watch for any major financial changes.

11. Password protected devices – Locking down computers, phones and tablets so you can’t access them allows cheaters to secretly communicate without getting caught. Refusing to share passwords is a big red flag.

12. Unexpected work trips – Cheaters often fabricate business trips, conferences, and work meetings to have an excuse to meet up with the other person. Any last-minute trips for vague reasons could be suspect.

13. Cosmetic changes – Making big changes to their appearance like new hair, clothes, weight loss, or plastic surgery procedures can signal an effort to impress a new lover. Especially if the new look doesn’t feel like their typical style.

14. Secret credit cards and phones – Some cheating spouses secretly open new credit cards or get a “burner” phone so their statements and phone records won’t show suspicious activity. Watch for any unknown accounts or phones you don’t have access to.

15. Trust your instincts – If something feels off in your relationship or your gut tells you something is wrong, you may be subconsciously picking up on signs of cheating. Don’t ignore intuition – it often detects infidelity before hard evidence does.

16. Changes in Communication – A cheating spouse may communicate very differently once an affair starts. They may be more guarded about their phone and emails, stopping conversations when you enter the room or becoming vague when discussing their day.

Communication may become less intimate overall, with fewer long conversations and check-ins. Or the opposite can occur as well – they may suddenly be acting happier, kinder and more enthusiastic to overcompensate. Any unexpected shift in communication patterns, either withdrawing or compensating, should raise red flags.

17. Unexplained Changes in Spending Habits – Cheating often costs money, whether it’s gifts, trips, wine and dinners out or hotel rooms. Unexplained expenses, secret credit card bills or cash withdrawals are common signs of infidelity.

Lavish new clothing purchases, jewelry you didn’t know about, or willingness to spend on things previously called extravagant are also potential signs. If your spouse can’t explain where new money is going or it seems beyond their normal means, something is likely amiss.

18. More Time Spent Away from Home – Cheating spouses suddenly spend more time working late, having drinks with friends, or traveling for business. This creates opportunities to meet up with their lover without raising suspicions. They may say overtime at work is mandatory or blame traffic for being late.

Business trips may become more frequent and last longer. Or they may simply stop coming home on time or at all with weak explanations. If you see your spouse’s time away from home suddenly increasing, ask yourself why.

19. Attitude Changes – Cheating causes internal turmoil that often manifests outwardly. Your spouse may seem distracted, stressed, anxious, guilty, distant, angry or emotionally volatile. They may pick fights or be quicker to anger due to guilt.

Moodiness, drinking, depression or midlife crisis behavior can also indicate inner conflict. If their baseline attitude seems to shift, underlying changes in the relationship are often the cause.

20. Lying – Lies almost always accompany cheating, from small deceptions to outright falsehoods. Notice if your spouse contradicts themselves over time, gets defensive when questioned or seldom has simple truthful explanations for things.

Money lies are especially common – falsely claiming purchases are for work or making up reasons for large withdrawals. Lying about time spent away from home is another big sign. Even if you don’t have solid evidence, if your gut tells you your spouse is lying there is often truth behind it.

21. Avoidance – A cheating spouse wants to avoid detailed questions and accountability for time spent away from you. They may express annoyance, change subjects or storm out of the room when you simply ask how their day was.

They will go out at odd times without telling you or expressing clear irritation if you ask to come along. Dodging direct communication, giving vague or absent answers and finding reasons to be unavailable are keys to pulling off an affair. Increased avoidance behaviors are a red flag of hiding and lying.

Conclusion:

While noticing one or two of these signs isn’t definitive proof of cheating, several signs together often point to infidelity. If you have an uneasy feeling in your marriage, have an open talk with your spouse to rule out cheating and get back on solid ground. With improved communication, you can often repair issues before it’s too late. Learn here more about cheating spouses related guidance and tips for saving marriage