Marriage Counseling Pros and Cons
Marriage counseling, also known as couples therapy, is a type of psychotherapy that focuses on resolving conflicts and improving romantic relationships. Many couples seek marriage counseling when they are having trouble communicating, experience frequent conflicts, or are considering divorce.
While marriage counseling can help improve many marital issues, it also has some downsides. In this blog post, we will share a list of marriage counseling pros and cons.
Understanding the potential benefits and drawbacks of marriage counseling can help couples decide if it is the right step for their relationship.
Pros of Marriage Counseling
1. Improved Communication Skills
One of the main goals of marriage counseling is to teach couples how to communicate effectively. A counselor acts as a neutral third party to facilitate discussions and provide techniques for active listening, expressing feelings, and resolving disagreements.
Couples learn how to avoid patterns like criticizing, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Improving communication helps reduce marital conflicts and resentment.
2. Increased Understanding
During counseling sessions, spouses have the opportunity to speak openly in a safe environment. A counselor can help each partner understand the other’s perspective and identify behaviors that may be causing problems.
Gaining empathy and insight into a spouse’s feelings, experiences, and motivations often leads to more compassion and strengthens emotional intimacy.
3. Conflict Resolution Skills
A counselor equips couples with constructive conflict resolution skills so they can handle disagreements in a healthier way.
Rather than avoiding issues or having heated arguments, couples learn to compromise, find solutions, and manage anger productively. Applying these techniques helps resolve long-standing marital issues.
4. Objective Perspective
It can be hard for couples to have an unbiased view of their relationship. A marriage counselor provides an impartial perspective to assess issues objectively. The counselor can point out unhelpful patterns the couple may be oblivious to and offer suggestions for making positive changes. This outside input is extremely valuable.
5. Improves Intimacy
For many couples, unresolved conflicts diminish emotional and physical intimacy over time. Marriage counseling helps spouses reconnect, improve trust, and foster a deeper bond. As communication and conflict management improves, couples often experience a renewed closeness.
Cons of Marriage Counseling
1. Cost
The average cost of marriage counseling ranges from $100-$200 per session. Health insurance policies do not always cover these expenses. The total costs can quickly add up and may not be affordable for some couples. However, many counselors offer sliding scale fees.
2. Time Commitment
To get the full benefits, marriage counseling usually requires a significant time investment. Sessions typically occur weekly over the course of several months.
Juggling appointments with work schedules and childcare can be challenging for busy couples. Progress takes time too. Improvements are gradual and may require patience and dedication.
3. Difficult Process
Marriage counseling involves in-depth discussions of relationship problems which can be emotionally draining. Spouses must be open to identifying their contributions to issues and working through them.
The counseling process can temporarily exacerbate problems before improvements occur. Couples require a commitment for counseling to be successful.
4. Requires Effort
While the counselor facilitates discussion, the success of marriage counseling ultimately relies on the couple. Both partners must actively participate in sessions, communicate openly, and do work between meetings.
Each spouse needs to examine their behaviors and be willing to make changes. Without effort and participation from both individuals, counseling is unlikely to improve the relationship.
5. No Guarantees
There are no guarantees that marriage counseling will save a relationship. If only one partner is willing to make adjustments or underlying issues like infidelity, substance abuse, or domestic violence exist, counseling may fail to resolve conflicts. Being open to divorce is advised if counseling does not help.
Additional Things to Consider
- Finding an experienced counselor you both feel comfortable opening up to
- Commitment and participation required from both spouses
- Progress and improvements happen gradually over time
- Being open to divorce if counseling does not resolve issues
- Managing expectations – counseling aims to improve relationship, not solve every problem
Conclusion
Marriage counseling has many benefits for couples experiencing relationship difficulties. It can teach vital communication skills, and conflict resolution tactics, and increase understanding between spouses. However, there are also significant cons like high costs, time requirements, difficult emotional work, no guarantees of success.
Weighing the pros and cons can help couples make an informed choice if marriage counseling may benefit their situation. With commitment and participation from both partners, counseling can lead to major relationship improvements in many cases. Learn here more about saving a marriage and guide.
FAQs:
Q: How much does marriage counseling cost?
A: The cost of marriage counseling ranges from $100-$200 per session on average. Some counselors may charge less or more. Sessions are typically weekly and last about 50 minutes. Many counselors offer sliding scale fees based on income.
Q: Does insurance cover marriage counseling?
A: Unfortunately most health insurance plans do not cover the cost of marriage counseling or therapy. Some employee assistance programs may cover a limited number of sessions. Check with your insurance provider to see if any marriage counseling benefits are included.
Q: How can I find a good marriage counselor?
A: Look for licensed mental health professionals like psychologists, clinical social workers, or marriage and family therapists. Get referrals from your doctor, friends, or local psychology associations. Verify credentials and read reviews online. Meet with a few counselors to find one you both feel comfortable with.
Q: How long does marriage counseling take?
A: The length of marriage counseling varies depending on the severity of issues. On average, couples attend sessions together for 3-6 months. Meeting weekly is recommended to make steady progress. Some couples may only need a few sessions, while others may choose to go for a year or longer.
Q: Does marriage counseling really work?
A: Marriage counseling is proven to help many couples improve their relationships. However, both partners must be willing to make it work. If underlying issues exist or only one spouse participates, it likely will not be effective. About 60-75% of couples see positive changes from counseling.
Q: What happens during marriage counseling?
A: Sessions involve discussing relationship challenges, learning communication techniques, identifying issues, and setting goals. The counselor facilitates discussions, provides tools to nurture intimacy, and assigns “homework” exercises to practice outside of counseling. It’s a collaborative process.
Q: Can marriage counseling save my marriage?
A: Marriage counseling aims to resolve problems and improve the relationship, but cannot guarantee saving a marriage. Success depends on the severity of issues and commitment from both spouses to actively participate in the process. If only one partner refuses to change, counseling likely will fail.