Save a Marriage When Only One is Trying
Saving a struggling marriage often feels like an uphill battle, especially when you feel like you’re the only one putting in effort. When your spouse seems disinterested in working on your relationship, you may wonder if it’s even possible to save your marriage alone.
The good news is that it is possible, even if challenging. With some strategic effort on your part, you can slowly begin improving your marriage. In this blog post, we will share tips and tricks how to save a marriage when only one is trying.
Strategic Tips Save a Marriage When Only One is Trying
1. Appeal to Your Spouse’s Emotions
When trying to save a one-sided marriage, you must appeal to your spouse on an emotional level. Sit them down to have an open and honest conversation about how you feel and how their lack of effort makes you feel. Share specific examples of times when you felt hurt or unsupported. Be vulnerable and avoid blaming statements.
The goal is to help them understand the emotional toll their withdrawal is taking on you and your marriage. Pleading with them to make more effort because you love them and want the marriage to work can sometimes wake them up to the gravity of the situation.
2. Identify Underlying Causes
In many cases, a spouse withdraws from a marriage because of an underlying issue making them unhappy. Really listening and getting to the root of what changed in the marriage can be illuminating. Common issues like sexual problems, lack of intimacy, work stress, financial pressures, loss of attraction, unresolved conflicts, and more can sometimes be improved once brought out into the open.
Identify issues you suspect may be bothering your spouse and have an open discussion about them. Once underlying problems get addressed, the emotional connection can start mending.
3. Make Positive Changes
Don’t just complain about what your spouse is doing wrong or what you wish they would change. Make positive changes in your own behavior to inspire change in them.
When one spouse alters their actions for the better, it can shift the dynamic of the whole relationship. After identifying underlying issues, take initiative in making fixes. If there is a lack of intimacy, plan regular date nights. Deal with financial concerns by managing money better.
Add romance into the relationship. Find solutions for any solvable problems and stick to them. These good faith efforts make your spouse more motivated to contribute effort as well.
4. Seek Professional Help
A trained marriage counselor can help save a one-sided marriage by facilitating difficult conversations and equipping both spouses with communication tools. Having a neutral third party diffuse tension and offer new insight is extremely helpful when one spouse refuses to participate in working things out.
Individual counseling can also help empower the trying spouse with psychological coping mechanisms for dealing with resistance. Finally, marriage education courses and workshops teach invaluable relationship skills. Don’t be afraid to recruit outside assistance when attempting single-handedly to improve your marriage.
5. Consider Trial Separation
When one partner flat out refuses to work on the marriage no matter what, a trial separation might jolt them into taking your efforts seriously.
Give them an ultimatum explaining exactly what you need from them to reconcile the marriage. Move to a separate bedroom or leave the house for a set period, making it clear the marriage is at stake.
Arrange marriage counseling sessions for during the separation period as well to work through grievances in a productive way. The disruption to their routine and space may help them see just how close they are to losing you and shock them into engaging.
6. Focus on Self-Care
You can only control your own actions – not your partner’s choices. During this turbulent time, be sure to practice abundant self-care to avoid burnout. It is very draining to be the only one carrying a marriage.
Lean on trusted friends and family for emotional support. Maintain your regular hobbies and interests to take your mind off the situation periodically. Eat healthy foods that boost mood, exercise often to release feel-good endorphins, and try stress-reducing activities like yoga and journaling.
Take time for yourself when needed to continue showing up positively for your marriage.
7. Establish Your Deal Breakers
As a last resort, you may have to eventually accept you have done everything possible to save your one-sided marriage if your partner refuses to budge. If that happens, determine your deal breakers and stick to them.
If for example intimacy is non-negotiable to you but your spouse has withdrawn from sex completely, set a timeline in your mind after which you will walk away if that need remains unfulfilled.
Clarify your deal breakers and share them openly so your partner understands the gravity of the situation. Be ready to follow through if those needs continue going unmet after a reasonable period of time trying any and all options.
Saving a marriage alone is a difficult task but not impossible. By appealing to your spouse’s heart, addressing underlying issues head on, making positive personal changes, seeking professional intervention, allowing disruption to occur and prioritizing self-care, you can resuscitate even the most withdrawn spouse.
Establish your non-negotiables though so you walk away on empowered terms if your best efforts fail to inspire reciprocal commitment to the relationship. With one-sided patience, courage and perseverance, it is possible to get your marriage back on track.
Conclusion
Though challenging, saving a one-sided marriage is possible by appealing to your spouse’s emotions, addressing underlying problems, initiating positive personal changes, recruiting outside assistance, allowing necessary disruptions and practicing self-care.
Prioritize your needs and well-being while continuing earnest efforts with your partner. With determination and resilience, you can inspire real change and marital redemption, even when progress feels utterly hopeless. Take things one day at a time relying on inner strength – you may be pleasantly surprised by how two can get back to one with consistent nurturing of the relationship from your side.
